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Ewigheim

In the world of gaming, it’s one thing to carry a series as far as you possibly can. However, it’s another thing entirely to beat a once iconic series into the ground so bad that it’s unrecognizable corpse gets up and starts beating you with the stick that killed it. Well, get prepared for just that moment, because Capcom has announced Ultra Street Fighter IV! That’s right, yet another “upgrade” of the latest Street Fighter entry.


Over the weekend at EVO 2013, Capcom officially announced that the most popular fighting game franchise in history is returning, better and badder than ever with Ultra Street Fighter IV for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and PC. Continuing the tradition of excellence the Street Fighter IV series is known for, five new characters and six new stages have been added for even more fighting mayhem, with rebalanced gameplay and original modes topping off this ultimate offering.

In Ultra Street Fighter IV, Poison, Hugo, Elena, Rolento and a secret all-new playable character join the fight, complete with new animations and their own unique play styles, bringing the current roster count to a massive 44 characters. Six new battle environments (including Pitstop 109, Cosmic Elevator, Half Pipe and more) provide a thrilling and colorful backdrop to the action. Direct fan feedback was gathered on all of Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition’s original 39 characters and core system mechanics in order to achieve the most balanced Street Fighter ever. Further details on the exciting new modes and gameplay features will be announced in the coming months.

Owners of Super Street Fighter IV or Super Street Fighter IV: Arcade Edition will be able to download the title as a $14.99/€14.99 digital upgrade. Users who purchase the retail or full download version of the game for $39.99/€39.99 will receive all previous costume DLC released for the series (a $40/€40 value), making this the definitive version of Street Fighter IV to check out!


Alright, I’m ticked.

Wait a minute, wasn’t Super Street Fighter IV the difinitive edition? Or was it Super Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the definitive definition of the definitive gaming series’ most definitive definitives. And if you happen to own the now inferior definitive definition of the definitive fighting games definitive upgrade, well now you can throw down another $14.99/€14.99 for five more fighters and six new battlefields! That or you can spend $39.99/€39.99 and get what everyone has already spent a good amount more to own. At this point if you want to break even, you need to never buy Street Fighter IV until Street Fighter V comes out, or just not live in the United States like I do since those with British pounds seem to be getting the far better deal at 1 US Dollar being equal to 0.66 British Pound Sterling.

Look, Capcom, there is such a thing as oversaturation. You know this, right? Don’t get me wrong, Street Fighter IV was a superb game in and of itself, and the Super tag was destined to come from the moment you announced the un-super version. I would love to pick up the game once more, but I’m burnt out on it from the hype and consumer gouging. It’s the same thing as hearing your favorite song over the radio constantly. You just discover it and it’s great, then a few weeks of it constantly being shoved in your face, and you want to run to the nearest living DJ and stangle him or her their own microphone chord. I was the metal director at WSFX FM, and even I wanted to do that exact same thing to some of the peons who kept spamming the new Amon Amarth or Iced Earth track every thirty to sixty minutes, so I’m living proof that such a fury exists.

My point is that this is getting really old increadibly quick, and the update isn’t even out yet! Let’s face it, this just hit my inbox as I type this rant up. This means the news hasn’t spread yet. Which means the Facebooks and Twitters have yet to be flooded with praise and comments best suited to young teens in puberty. And you know it won’t show a lick of negativity either, everyone is going to buy this edition for the scantily clad ebony goddess Elena, or the Streets of Rage reject Poison.

Alright, fine, I wouldn’t mind playing with her, but that’s beside the point and completely off topic!

I remember going out to dinner with my mother on Friday night when I was a kid. We’d go to the local pizza shop named Antonio’s for a slice or two, or get a large to go to split with family or friends. I would cram quarter after quarter in the Street Fighter II machine and enjoy every second of it. Why? Because it wasn’t being crammed down my throat, and I knew what I was playing was the complete experience as far as the arcade version went. I knew about the Supre and Hyper editions home consoles, but this was the arcade version, and as far as I knew was the only version in the stand-up machines. I miss this feeling of joy and completion, and I know many others feel the same way too!

But, who am I kidding, I don’t even know what I’m feeling anymore. I can’t tell who I’m more aggrivated over, Capcommerce for forcing us to buy another update for one or two characters we may play as and will probably end up spamming the on-line matches with them and their potentially spam-fueled button mashing control set that is impossible to defeat because some people can’t be bothered to learn the characters moves and feel victorious for doing very little and I WOULD HAVE WON MORE MATCHES IF IT WEREN’T FOR PLAYERS LIKE THIS YOU DIRTY ROTTEN LITTLE…

Ahem… excuse me… Back on topic now. I do know one thing for sure, and it’s that I don’t want to play a single new Street Fighter game again. I’m tired of getting games that are simply incomplete upon release because, months down the line, Capcom will ship out another upgrade. DLC is additional content to a pre-existing game that, not including unlock keys, is already complete to begin with. It’s an additional task you can choose to play for it. Instead of sticking with this formula, Capcom continues to release new games that act like the Sega CD and Sega 32X of Street Fighter titles (except more successful obviously), basically leeching off the success and trying to be something entirely new in the process, leaving the previous title unfinished until the company realizes it can’t continue and moves on to the next big thing.

Well, I take some of that back really. I wouldn’t mind owning a reimagined and/or remastered version of Street Fighter 2010: The Final Fight. I remember being so confused later in life when I found it after Street Fighter 2. Was it the same series? If so, why so wildly different? I enjoyed it for what it was, and there seriously would be some potential if this title actually incorporated legit Street Fighter characters into, say, a third person perspective Action game, or even just a general Platformer. Then again there will probably end up being three more expansions to make it the definitive definition of the definitive reimagined remasterpiece of the definitive NES game to confuse the heck out of many games back in the day.

The tl;dr point of all this, Capcom, is that, as a consumer, I want something new, and I want it complete out of box! Yes, your 2D battlefield and excellent visuals are superb in every way, and the controls are great as well. This is the definitive modern Street Fighter title in the series. At least I think, I never played Street Fighter 3. Why can’t you just offer each character or stage as its own seperate download at maybe $1 or $2 a pop? If it has something to do with adding achievements beyond what Microsoft will allow, or limiting how much you can host or the cost for all of this, why not wait and craft a brand new title entirely? Why not work on Street Fighter V and add some new stuff like a 3D battlefield? I mean, if the Pacific Rim game can do it in a surprisingly decent and enjoyable manner, surely you guys can come up with a way to incorporate it into the game! This way it’s a new experience, and people like me who are tired of shelling out extra funds to enjoy what you claim to be “definitive” version of the game can actually enjoy what we already paid for.

I mean, what’s next from you, Capcom? Super Ultra Mega Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition: Fifth Strike On-Line Tournament Edition? Haha, cause that’d be silly, right? Am I right?

…Right?

……Capcom?

…Uh oh…

Press release provided by Capcom.