Review – xSPONGEXCOREx: The Panty Raid

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  • Label: Self-release
  • Release Date: April 1st, 2016
  • Genre: Groove Metal, Hardcore
  • Website: Visit Website
  • Rating (out of 10):

xSPONGEXCOREx was a random Youtube thing many of us often had suggested on the Youtube side bar late at night surrounded by random Youtube Poop videos. It was something I enjoyed for what it was, but eventually shrugged off as nothing more than general SpongeBob SquarePants fandom. It was quite the surprise the other day to find that not only xSPONGEXCOREx still existed, but there were a number of small releases made available up to and including their latest six-song EP The Panty Raid. But what did this short offering have in store for listeners, and have they evolved any compared to the previous recordings circulating the internet just a few years ago?

Much like with their previous outings, The Panty Raid stands more as hardcore and groove metal with a loose collection of Spongebob Squarepants audio samples in place of vocals that don’t always fit into any sort of concept. “Wumbology” re-establishes this by throwing clips from the episode where Spongebob gets Mermaid Man’s belt and accidentally shrinks many of the citizens, working with Patrick to try to reverse it before the same happens to him. The rest, however, are just cosmetic additions across some catchy, enthusiastic guitar work and burly breakdowns. There’s also “The Perfume Department” and it’s clips that jump from Spongebob trying to give Gary a bath to being trapped on the Flying Dutchman’s ship, eventually trying to escape through the common aforementioned section of a large retail store. Sadly, this one, and all but the closing of “Three Days”, end up throw away performances further hindered by the lack of consistancy in the aforementioned samples, making about half the EP a bit hard to justify going through again on further spins.

Thankfully, there are a few that stick with one particular concept and run with it, making for some unexpectedly heavy and hysterical experiences. “At Night” takes the latter chunk of the episode where The Krusty Krab becomes a twenty-four hour restaurant, focusing on The Hash-Slinging Slasher and the lore Squidward made up about it. All the clips are timed well to coincide with the changing of tempo or hostility except for Squidward shouts he’s just joking, which could have been used a bit earlier for a cleaner finish. A similar beneficial consistancy is heard during “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service”, taking from Plankton dreaming he runs his opponents business involving Mr. Krabs calling to inform he’d be there the next day, and Spongebob giving the wrong size cup and exclaiming he soiled the establishment’s good name. But then there’s “Destroyer of Evil” which honestly just stands out for the mix of innocent “steppin’ on the beach” dialogue and bulky chug working out so well to get lodged in your skull for days.

Is The Panty Raid perfection? No, and it’s far from it. What this release is, however, is still a fun, humorous romp through Bikini Bottom for the most devoted of metalheads that grew up with, or just really enjoy the Nickelodeon series (of which I clearly am one). While you can show your support to the project by throwing down a dollar to pick this EP up, if you’re a skin flint like good old Mr. Krabs you can always grab it and their other releases for free at THIS LOCATION [link provided by the band’s own Facebook account in their About Me page]. If you enjoy the show a short bursts of hardcore, The Panty Raid is something you’ll probably enjoy for what it is, and nothing more.


Digital review copy of this release provided by personal funds.